zagreus-taking-time-apart:

steampoweredsass:

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

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WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

(via teenscoolest)

“When someone shows you their true colors, don’t try to paint a different picture.”
Unknown (via amortizing)

(via somekindofsophia)

yourtourhost:

relationship goals

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

shadogal94:

dreamerofderse:

so my mom brought home one of the new 100 dollar bills 

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I’m looking at it like “yeah this looks kinda cool”

but then you flip it over and

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it looks like it has fucking wordart on it

imageimage

They literally fucking used WordArt

AMERICA

(via shutthefuckupcas)

mellarkish:

"birth control violates religious beliefs" yea ok but remember that thing called the separation of church and state

(via refreshes)

meladoodle:

nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off

(via deepmountains)

sparklestripper:

zombiedogdraws:

bienenkiste:

Ph. Lobke Leijser

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND THAT SHE WAS WEARING A SWEATER WITH WHITE SLEEVES I ONLY SAW THE BLACK AND GOT REALLY SCARED BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE HAD FREAKISHLY SKINNY SLENDERMAN ARMS OH GOD

I just thought it was a really, really fat cat

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

commandersheena:

israfel070:

modestdemidov:

"make up is false advertisement!"

translation:

"i view women as products"

If you went on a few dates with a charming, fit-looking guy, decided to invite him upstairs, and after he took off his shirt he unstrapped a hidden girdle and his massive gelatinous kegbelly rippled forth, you would be pissed too.

did you really just compare a woman putting some powder on her face to a guy literally reshaping his entire body

(via milkgif)

budgets:

can i have you

just kidding you don’t have a choice get in the trunk

(via iwasrepeals)

tedthejinglebellhop:

fun fact one time robert pattinson was supposed to get punk’d at the bar where my cousin works and they got all the employees in on it and everything but when it came time to punk him his friends couldn’t get him to leave his house and that’s when I knew I loved robert pattinson

(via palmist)